Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
