Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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