I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize