I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This toilet bowl is my home.
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