And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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