filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
