i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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