How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
