It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
