I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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