The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
