I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
