There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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