I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
