Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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