dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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