we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
