we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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