VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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