ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
