so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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