we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
