Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
