I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
