I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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