Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
