I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
