So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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