her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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