Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I could make wine with my vomit
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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