I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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