Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
