ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
