i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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