when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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