brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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