4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
