i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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