i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
