Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
this hospital has no fireball
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
