my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
