Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
