Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
