Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
