We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
