I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she peed on how many people?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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