The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
