The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
