He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
