I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
